I am and always will be accepting anonymous secrets and problems. I love helping out with advice or just being a shoulder to lean on.
It’s weird, because I get done with work, and I really do want to just go home and relax and do things by myself for a while. Yet, I call him, and even though I’ve been planning on heading home for the day, it still makes me sad when he says he doesn’t want to hang out, and wants the day to himself. :( Oh well. Just gotta trust him, I guess. It’s hard sometimes, but meh, my only other option is to wallow in my own insecurities, and I’d really rather not do that. So, Skyrim it is. :) I’m trying to build a life outside of one or two people, but it’s tough, because i’m terrible at juggling these things. I find something good and I just want it all the time.
Anyway. Ramble over.
What does the internet think? Sex & Love.
So. Somebody was supposed to help me figure out what was wrong with my car, but he fell through. I figured he would. Looks like… life has proven the only person I can rely on is myself…. and honestly… I’m not very reliable. So it’s only a matter of time before it all breaks down.
I’m also unemployed and my relationship… or lack thereof… with dudeface is completely fucked. I’m not going to school… I’m just… a loser. HAHA. Oh well… -shrugs- Can only do so much about it at one time. First, fix my car. Then the rest.
Do it, please. I’m so bored. -.-
Sex is FANTASTIC! So either you’re not doing it right… or you’re too hipster to admit that sex is basically the best ever! It’s especially funny on a guys dating profile when they’re all “I love cuddling, but sex is soooo overrated…” then they try to sext you. HILARIOUS!
For all the people who have taken the personal choice to abstain from sex, I completely respect that, but one day you will know what I’m talking about.
But if you ever need advice, or have a question, I will, to the best of my ability, help you out.
I’m here for you! Not just sex, but any advice you could possibly need, or even if you just need to get something off your chest. Anon is on!
I know that I ended things, and I did it because I knew things wouldn’t change. They haven’t for the past year and a half, so why would they now?
I just want to write some long as… letter of some sort, explaining how upset and disappointed I am. How weak I feel, and I know that I really shouldn’t, because at the end of the day it won’t change anything, and it won’t make him miss me the way that I miss him, but I still can’t help but want to let him know everything that’s going on inside my head. The thing is, I know he won’t really give a fuck, not… really. Not unless there’s a chance he can get back in my good graces so we can have more sex again… I just, don’t want it like that.
So, FML. Maybe I’ll just write it all out, and never send it.
I just ended this relationshipish… thing with this guy… that well, let’s face it, I’m pretty much crazy about. The entire time I’ve been telling him this he’s been saying “Oh no, you just want to be with someone.”
And I keep saying. “No. I want to be with you.” As in specifically. Turns out, that maybe it’s just him that wanted to be with a “someone”, and I was the idiot that thought maybe it could be me. Only so many times you can get shot down while still being all snuggly with someone before you just get tired of how fucked everything is and give up.
So yeah, no more him. I really hope I can just… get over it, and find someone who genuinely wants to be with me, and isn’t afraid to fight for me, or fucking let some of his feelings for me actually show when he isn’t wasted.
Is that really too much to ask?
Right Now! You know I love to hear them!
Not a post I’ll actually post. I think. Just something to sort out my thoughts. If you feel like reading it, on the off chance I do post it, then go ahead, and thank you for listening.
Dude is a guy, in my life. We’re not together, really, but we are, sort of. We’re friends, i suppose, and we have sex. We have amazing sex, actually. At least, I think it’s amazing. I don’t know how I rate to him. -shrugs- Not really my problem. He seems to enjoy it, and that’s all that really matter when it comes to that.
The thing is, I got a bit over emotional a little while back, and he made it pretty clear that we’re not “together” in a way that means we’re dating. Or if we are “dating” it’s super casual, and he’d have no problem with me seeing other people. For a while there, I didn’t like that. I hated that he didn’t want to be with me, and frankly, even now I know that if we stopped having sex, we probably wouldn’t keep being friends. Not that either of us would force the other one out of our lives, but one of those “what’s the point?” type situations where we sort of drift away.
Now though, I’m starting to like it. I’m only 20 years old. I like being able to flirt with other guys, or go out on dates and not feel guilty or attached. It’s kind of nice.
The thing is though, I also feel a bit disconnected from him. Every thing he does is really sweet and cute, and he doesn’t seem to understand that in making me believe that we’re more than just fuck buddies, but not quite in a relationship, we’ve essentially built a non-relationship relationship. I’ve met his entire family, because they live with him, but not his kids. I just chill around his house sometimes, or sleep there after work.
We hang out and watch movies, or go get food, or play videogames. We kiss each other hello and goodbye. We do all this ridiculously confusing cutesy stuff, and I really hate that I enjoy it so much. I’m having trouble convincing myself that I’m satisfied with just what we’re doing, but there’s a huge part of me that is completely satisfied. I just, don’t know if I can trust his affections, as actual affections, or I don’t know. I just don’t want to feel more for him than he feels for me. Even though I already know that I do.
So I’m just really lost when it comes to this guy, and I have no desire to push anything with him anymore, but I feel a bit stuck with how things are. Like I said, I enjoy being able to flirt and hang out with other guys without feeling guilty or pressured, but he’s the only one I’d really want to spend all my time with anyway.
My head is just a mess, and this really didn’t help much. I hate not knowing where I stand with people. Even though I sort of know, I don’t. It’s just weird, and this post is really rambly, and I’m even more confused now than I was when I started it. Still, I wrote it all out, so I’m gonna post it anyway. Feel free to ignore. (-she says at the end of the post after anyone who’s held on and read this far would be angry that she wasted their time-) Thanks though. <3
I just think they’re fancy, and would love to hear some romantic shit right now.
Anon or not. <3
I want them to know the same things about me, and still love me for them, and then I would be happy.
Or maybe you need some advice? It’s been a while since I’ve asked. I love to hear them, and I’ll help out in any way I can. Or I’m just here to listen. Whatever you need. My ask box is always open!